Tears of Females (Since Creation until Present day)

-When God create Human, He use one rib bone of the first man(Adam) to create the first woman(Eve), Hence born the theory men gave birth to women(reverse process of child birth)
-Myth: Women are cursed. According to mythology, Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God gets angry and banishes His creation from Eden garden. From that day on, human lives on themselves.
-History: Ancient time Chinese (even until now), most of them despise females. Man can have as much wives as he wants, women are treating as object, can be trade, and most fathers are so willingly to sell their daughters. No women could go to school, women with knowledge will never get marry, and they can’t even read books. Women are limits in house, only. After gets married, father always pray for a son, the one that carry family name to the next generation. But if really unfortunate gets a daughter…you can simply abandon the child, no one would ever blame you, because everyone’s doing the same. Female are consider “ying”, a side of Fong-Shui that attract bad things, if your family have more females than males, blame your daughters if you gets sick or bad lucks. Plus, Chinese emperor has one queen and 3000 wives! Believe it! Every year fresh beauties from around the country being send to palace, never knowing their fate…Some beauties never seen the emperor in their life time, they just stay in the palace(forever), gets old and die without a proper funeral. Imagine that, the only entertainment you get is lesbian sex and chess and fly kite, all in the palace until the day you die…
-Since creation: Being are judge by their strength, not knowledge or whatever…We knows men are stronger, thanks to testosterone, so those without it, obey. Ever since then, men become the one that write laws, women obey, must. Hence when go through history, we can see most culture and religious despise women’s right, since no one ever protests (who ever dares), it stays until now. Sadly, nowadays most people still stick to those conservative crappy laws, even some women…
-Mothers: one time intercourse, has pain of labour, lost appetite, vomit almost every time after meals, suffer gastric pain for the whole 9 months, in the end process still have to endure the ultimate suffering for almost 40 minute---then only a child is born. After birth, mother lactate her very own child and take care of everything, from clothing to the bed, mother never rest…from a baby child until the boy turns to man, mother never stops worry and always be there when her child is in trouble. Still, some child never appreciates…comes home at late night, scholarship reach rock bottom and lost virginity before 16th birthday, breaks mother’s very own heart…at worst, if husband doesn’t understand, she gets all the blame for all the cause…contribute without asking for return, that’s a mother.
-Fact: Who discover DNA? We’ll say Watson and Crick. In fact the one that first discover DNA is a woman scientist name Rosalind Franklin…why no one ever cares? You know the answer. Rosalind dies of broken heart, only until recent year science world give the glory to her.
-In present day: crime rate rise way faster than Carbon dioxide concentration. Women gets rape, rob, abuse, kill every single minute. According to research, in one minute more than 200 women falls victim to crime and this number doesn’t include most 3rd world countries…An unnamed religious, state a law if women gets rape, she can sue the attacker, but she needs at least 4 witness! Let me ask you, would you rape a victim in front of 4 people? That is plain bull-shit and out-of-the-world-alien-crap! Who ever comes up with that idea are really a no-brainer.
-Nation’s Crisis: Now talk about the country I’m from. Year 2007, when a hell lot of shit-happen in my country, for instance: Two politicians openly discuss about women period cycle without feeling ashamed, and don’t even felt sorry when this news broke out! Until the prime put pressure then they say sorry in front the camera but still don’t mention the victim name, thinking themselves very high pride and stuff, people (I mean, trash or debris of society) like these, which don’t respect women, won’t respect their mother and sister as well. Females government workers, no matter what religious or race, now are getting pressure from the top, urging them to cover their so-called private part(hair), now the whole nation females police enforcer already doing that, in future no surprise it will reach others post like teachers. Foreign celebrities like Gwen being warn not to be ‘bitchy’, Pussycat Dolls being fine for ‘bringing bad influences to the nation youth’, Linkin Park gets warning to ‘be good’, Beyonce are force to wear the outfit that only approved by our country (damn it, she said she rather go Jakarta of Indonesia, and this really shame news reach MTV and stuff and its all over internet blogs). Hell! They even warn Justin Timberlake not to be ‘sexy’! This is sooooooo stupid! No kissing in the public (fine), but even not in the airport! Foreign tourist being fine for embracing each other in the airport, local police broke into tourist’s hotel suite and urges the lady to ‘cover herself’, while the husband are being charge ‘doing dirty stuff’, for God sake, they are husband and wives! Even Middle East are more open minded than this country! Sincerely, this country now is really gaining its fame for being Ultra conservative, check out CNN or Times you’ll know (even Indonesia news critic about Gwen’s problem in this country!). Female lives on this soil are now slowly losing their right, soon they gonna urge you to cover your own toe…you never know.
-European’s folklore: Long time ago Human all lives in a small town, a town without worry, sickness or any misfortune. God left a box in the middle of the town after He creates human, a secret box, and He warn everyone not to open it. A little girl name Pandora can’t control her curiosity, she decide just to take a peek into the box, suddenly all hell break loose…bad things came out from the box, sickness, depression, hatred and all filled the town, peoples changed since then, all off them slowly leaves town and Pandora are being despise for causing this great destruction. Hence, women are said to be the root of all problems.
-Words: Women that kept to themselves or act cool are call ‘bitch’, those that loosen a bit are ‘sluts’, independent women are women that ‘out of track’, didn’t obey husband or folks words are ‘useless’, those married to rich dudes are ‘gold digger’, urge for another time after having sex are ‘whore’…everything women do or done, we guys name them something. Independent or single girl can just dirt off their shoulder, those married have to suffer husband’s cruel words, gets beaten and all.
-Dark Age: When the disease Black Death runs free in Europe, no cure are found and death troll reach a catastrophic state, that time there aren’t any doctor, people depends on witch doctor and home remedies, ritual of all kind occurs throughout the continent…when all hope seem lost, church and angry mobs turns and lay their anger on witchcraft. Witchcraft exists since civilization, but in the eye of church, they are considers as those that brings misfortune and worse: the Black Death disease...throughout Europe, witch doctors and women that suspect to practice witchcraft are burn to death, and all kind of torturing like crucified, water torture (the cruelest I ever knows) and all. The angry mob goes so far that even young women and cats get massacred. Until everything’s over, witchcraft no longer exist in Europe and the death troll cause by human being almost equal the main cause… (Joan of Arc, die in accuse of being a witch during the battle of British and French)
-Sexual drive: Hell lot of men nowadays still doesn’t know about girls. During sexual intercourse, men usually insert his organ WAY freakin early, they never know about foreplay, and they don’t care. For women, they are different, they need to be stimulate for a period of time to get ‘ready’, for vagina lining to produce juice for intercourse later on. For men they just pick their penis and stroke and its ready, so they think girl be the same. After the first few minute of suffering (without readiness of the wife), wife finally gets ready for intercourse, when they ask for another time (after male party ejaculated), they gets all the blame for being ‘bitchy’, ‘sluty’, ‘whore’ and all (fact: if the wife ain’t ready, they can’t feel anything but pain and suffering even there’s a 8 inch penis between their legs).Blaming them for having strong sex drive can never satisfied and all the fuss. One thing makes me really piss is that: nowadays a lot of people really holding the idea of ‘nowadays female sexual drives are getting stronger’, they don’t search the solution and blame the females, a clear example of male domination. Well, after all who would really willing to sacrificed 10 minute of their life time dedicate to foreplay, while you can just simply insert your penis and left your wife scream for life(ancient civilization like Greek and Egypt and even Indians knows about foreplay, read your history books!).One sad thing is: this matter you can never consult your wife or GF, because they love you, they just don’t want you to feel disappointed or depress and stuff, they are willing to sacrifice. For most women, if the other part of their life felt happy and satisfied, they will, too.
-Closing: Women are not from Venus, Man ain’t from Mars too, we both exist since creation, a lot of thing we don’t have in common, so we should learn to tolerate, understand, believe and love each other. When go through history, we can see that men made too many mistake, too many until I can’t really type it all down. Now, we should learn our mistake and respect them, make them believe we are there for them, like they always doing to us...when seconds to world’s end, you can hold her hand and said “we are going back to Eden, and I’ll find you”, and she’s looking into your eyes, believing it’s true…

*This article is dedicated to all the women, mothers and those still suffering under the fist of male domination, and for those deceased. Tomorrow would be better, we believe.

She.

I don't believe it...i guess i'll never be able to...for so many year, i was into wani, even though she never talks to me no more for years...i never give up, i kept going back for her, for so long...Until.She. I meet her in this foreign country, we both are malaysian, and together we all stay under one roof, with others malaysian as well. all things went well, days goes by, just like malaysian school life...People makes fren in this house, and sometime becomes enemy to the other person, some couple up, some breaks up, table talks happen most of the times to settle things down, just like normal life we seen on tv series..life in hostel ain't like house, where you get to see your dear parents and your lovely siblings and even your lively pet dog...under one roof with different blood lines, things goes on and down, vary.She. was a fren of mine. we use to talk, backstab other people, BBQ sausages on rooftop, joke bout teacher and all...yes, we were fren.One thing really weird about the thing called 'feeling' is that, you didn't really notice until it grow into size of a lump, until it really did mess with your thought, like a spirit within...It was too late, chance for me to cut it off has slip,and I, had made a mistake...dead mistake. I told myself, I'm in love with her.She had a boyfren, i was told. I've tried to rid of this feeling, but it ain't easy, it 's never that easy. She's deeply in love, and i'm just another Mr.whatever that trying to get this Mrs somebody. I really did tried, to hold this malignant disease within my body, to shut it off for good, still it lingers.I've decided not too close to her nowadays, in case i made mistake that she'll notice and our friendship will be so over. I hope, maybe after this holiday, everything will be back to normal, like it never ever happen. holiday, our semester break, we all went home. God's work, i guess, i got the same flight time ticket as hers, and i sat next to her during the whole time, from waiting room in medan till airport lobby in KL. we talk alot, more than usual. after depart with her in the airport, i had a dream that night back home, it was beautiful.I'm taking exam during this semester break in KL, i try to forget her as i study like i never did before, even in stpm. I'm doing my best, to rid of this feeling, coz it's a guilt to have this feeling, and i told myself: it's wani that i should go back for, not she.. i've succeed. her messages in my indox are history, so as the feeling, as i thought so...January, i'm back to medan. on flight, i had this really weird feeling: i was hoping we're on the same flight, and i could sat next to her again, get closer again...she arrive in afternoon, i meet her back in hostel, a usual fren hello and goodbye is what i said to her that day, none else.Weeks past by, we are fren, the usual type.one day she wants to borrow my book, i was reluctant that time(it's my favourite book), and i really can't believe i really thought like that...it was so over, i guess. life goes on, me and she are getting as closer fren, as we more frequent messaging each other. one day, she ask me if i want to join this chinese new year party, i was like, hell yeah why not..i should have reject her that day...That day, we arrive home earlier than usual, to prepare for tonite. i wore my best shirt, and my best shoe, waiting in the front door, and then i saw a different person waving at me...She. Totally different. She's stunning in the red satin dress...lost of words, we go to the destination with taxi, and spend the rest evening there. during the time, we are on different table, i message her during the boring speech, and she reply. I can't hold the feeling any longer, i told her that she, in fact, really look good in that red dress...a simple compliment message but all hell breaks loose.She. suspect me. she can sense something is wrong. usually we chat and stuff, just normal, but these day i'm acting really different, she said to her frens. i admit, yeah. the feeling is back, was normal at the begining of this semester, and because i try my best to hold it, but burning high after that dinner night...She. starts ignore me. she stops reply my message, and getting further from me...why..i know i'm doing a bad thing, i shouldn't have that feeling at 1st, coz she's owned! but i was doing my best to hold it, i dare not to steal her and stuff, all i'm trying to do is just be fren..though sometime i did something usual fren normally won't do...All seem lost. to save our fren realationship, I decided to talk with her, face to face, me and you...she was nervous when i told her that..Waiting on the rooftop for nearly half hour, sat alone thinking of all those negative effect and result that if she didn't come and stuff really making me crazy..i sat there and even cried.Still, she appear later on. I told her everything, EVERYTHING i mean, and i apologize for having this guilty feeling. She said she understand...I knew it all along, things is so different from the past now.We, are no longer best fren. Still, she reply every message i've sent, but i knew that wasn't her will, she did that just not to let me felt dissapointted. She looks nervous everytime we talk...All because of me. because of those stupid thing i've done...i got to made up to her. I decided, i should stay further from her, and i've stop messaging her...her fren are talking behind her back, coz she already had a boyfren, and now sumthing like she's seducing other guy and stuff...human's mouth, sometime are worst than snake's venom...i've decided again, i should do something. I spread rumors, that my past GF is back to me, just to cleanse her name, although brings back old memories hurts me, the fuck i care for now.Her birthday, i dare not to celebrate largely for her, i just give all i could for her because I know, no matter what i do now, people will still be talking behind us, like i'm stealing her and stuff, even though i was trying to be just her fren...what done is done, regret is useless. For now, i lives my life as usual, so as she, for i dare not to get that close to her anymore, even if i don't care what people said, but she's the victim too, i must not think of ownself only..for now, i just do all my best to aids her, care for her and everything, behind everyone eyes, a hidden fren lol...i sincerly don't know how she thinking, but i don't care, if no harm will comes to her anymore, i'm willing to do...She. taught me how to laugh, coz i've been taking life tooooo serious all these years, until i didn't really felt the joy and frens around me. She. reminds me of what i've missed: basketball. She. as always the smiley girl that i known, brings joy whenever she's around. She. reminds me of all the things i've missed in my teenage years...I couldn't love her, but i could protect her, and i know, it is my duty.Whenever seeing she smiles...I'm bliss.

Nur Syazwani--my light

It has been 2 years, since the last time i saw her.
The last time i saw her was, she's leaving for national service on the next day. At night approximately 8:30pm, standing in front of her house,i saw she's watching Tv with the rest of the family. I then put the letter and potrait of her (which i draw and kept for almost a year) into her mail box. I told myself, i shall not depend on her, never again.
Then i left.
2005, march. She had finish national service, and comin home this sunday. my friend told me that she've got a new boy friend, 'that doesn't concern me no more', was my reply. But at night time when i'm alone, my heart felt the pain, again. It has been long since i had this feeling, but now it's back. i try to force myself not to call her or whatever, she had her own life now, and i'm not going to interfere this time.Again i told myself to be strong, God's watching over me so i'm actually not alone.
2001,mid year. I meet a girl this morning, she's so pretty. From my sis i know that she's actually a muslim, coz she's 'mix', a combination of chinese and malay...We meet again few day later.since she's a girl guide and i'm a boyscout, hence sometime we'll combine in some activity.this time for sure, my heart bouncing faster than ever and i know i'm in love...I told my friends(so-called) of my feeling towards her few day later, but the secret doesn't hold, and it finally broke out and reach her ear.She start ignoring me since that day,and our short-lived-friendship has gone.
2005,July-october. I force myself reading english novel, so that i could improve my languege skill. she's really good at english, from what i know...Muet day, i look at her picture(which we taken together at form 5 time), before entering the test centre.' i hope i can do this as good as you are', i said.
2002,PMR. I pray to God, to guide me in this trial, and to protect her... i saw her passing by my classroom, and i wish that one day i could be on her level, to study in science class. please guide me through this, my light!
2006,march. Give me strenght! i Shout this word in my mind while pulling the rope on sport-day, but eventually i still lose.
2004, november.My heart hurt like hell, when i saw her together wit her bf. Back home i felt so sad that i couldn't stop crying, i throw my diary the next day and said i will never want these memories ever again.
2006, october.1 more month left to stpm, and her news come to me no more, she has been away from my life for nearly 2 years...after all thse years, i felt that it's time, that i should left she,coz i've become too dependant on she, i should face the trial myself this time, without she.
I still remember, these years whenever i'm down, i just look at the picture we took together. she's so pretty in that photo, ever the same...
Thank you and Farewell, Wani.